After pondering why in the world my waistline isn’t as slim as it was when I was 20 I remembered that, “Oh yeah, I’m lazy and sit at a desk all day.” It’s no wonder that nobody has ever used theoretical science as a weight loss program. Between the skipped meals, free cookies/pizza/(insert highly processed food here), and highly unnatural caffeine intake I’m surprised I haven’t swollen up more than I have. Looking around the halls, it seems some of my classmates aren’t as lucky.

So in order to combate my slowly inflating spare tire I have, in a momentary lapse of reason, decided to start training for some triathlons this summer. I’ve only done one or two before when I was 15 or something, so those don’t count. I’ll have a distinct advantage in the swim, which I’ll need. I ride a bike everywhere, but slowly. I can run for a long time, but slowly. Now try doing all three back to back to back, and fast. I’ve been swimming just about every day and alternating biking and running. I can tell I haven’t ridden for more than 2 miles at a time when I go on longer rides. I feel great for about 10 minutes, but then it feels like someone rubbed wasabi all over my legs and filled my tires with mercury. It’s not pretty. I even lost control and took a spill today trying to go around some inconsiderate pedestrians.

But no matter how bad I feel, it’s got to be light years better than these two: