Being a PhD graduate student is like being on welfare. Almost. It has a few advantages over welfare, but the similarities are striking. For starters I am living off of the government. That’s right, Uncle Sam cuts my checks. Secondly he does it once a month. While I don’t have to wait in a soul-crushing line to get my incredibly inadequate monthly allowance, the first of the month is still like a holiday.
Most of my money then goes to addictions. Well more like hobbies than addictions since I guess crack-cocaine and backpacking aren’t equally as self-destructive, but hey are we splitting hairs here? With whatever meager wages are left after feeding the monkey I have to price shop for ramens. Seven for a dollar just doesn’t cut it any longer, I have to hold out for the 12 for a buck deal.
The factor that sets us apart is the future. At the end of my suffering is a light, while true welfare recipients are most likely born into an overwhelmingly inextricable situation that highlights the unnecessary separation of wealth in this nation. Welfare is designed to help people pull themselves up a bit, but when the entire system is designed to keep them in their places it becomes obvious that the program was designed to placate the masses and give the appearance of compassionate governing, when exactly the opposite is true.
I know that I am insanely fortunate to be where I am and have the future outlook that I do. Besides, I’ve got M. the MD (money Doctor) while I will be just a PhD (poor hungry doctor).

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